He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
