I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I stole a fireplace last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
