So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
