The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
