So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
did i just pee glitter
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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