Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
