Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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