Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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