i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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