Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
