So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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