there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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