i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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