I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
