Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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