I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
