Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
