I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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