You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Let's get the cat blown out
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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