so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
