everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
