Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
