just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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