He kissed a someone with a penis
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
