my phone cant type all the emotion im having
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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