Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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