K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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