Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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