Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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