You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
foreskin is a definite game changer
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
