I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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