if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
