she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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