you would pick up someone in the library
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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