I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
