Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
