My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
