No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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