when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
