Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
