Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
