She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
