i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
