matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Are we still banned from the library?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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