Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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