Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
