i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
