i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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