yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
