Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I need a beard to bite.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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