Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
