I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
